The Freedom Bulletin

There has been a victory in the war on terror: Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, known as the “Prince of Al Qaeda” was killed by the Air Force in Iraq. He was considered the 2nd most important member of Al Qaeda, after Osama bin Laden, of course.

In other news, the FDA has made a decision that threatens to destroy innocence and personal freedom everywhere. A vaccine called Gardasil was approved for use today. This vaccine, made by Merck, is an abomination. It prevents women from getting the HPV virus, which can only be transmitted sexually. In other words, only immoral people are in danger of getting the virus, and they don’t deserve to be protected from it. But, because the vast majority of people are ageist and unindividualistic, girls as young as nine, who might end up being celibate, will be forced by their parents into getting the shots.

Now, I already knew all of this, but here’s something I had never heard before: the states will eventually be able to decide whether or not to make HPV vaccines mandatory in order to attend public schools!!!!! That’s right, if a state votes in favor of this, everyone in the state will be forced to receive painful, dread-inducing shots for a sexually transmitted disease, even though there’s a chance some of the people will remain virgins for their entire lives.

This issue infuriates me more than any current event I can remember. At least with gay marriage, which I consider despicable, the gay people are just being despicable with each other and not bothering anyone else. States’ plans for Gardasil, however, smash the rights of celibates and are more oppressive than any idea Adolf Hitler ever conceived. Gardasil is an affront to logic, childhood, dignity, innocence, independence, individualism, freedom, and the Constitution of the United States of America!

Making Gardasil mandatory is, quite possibly, the worst idea I have ever heard. It is a Communist policy that reflects the evil philosophy of collectivism and has absolutely no place in America. George Washington, Patrick Henry, John Adams, and all other great Americans from history are most certainly rolling in their graves at the knowledge of this terrible monstrosity. Anyone who supports making Gardasil mandatory ought to be shot.

I vow that I will never in my life receive an HPV vaccine, and may God strike me down if I ever break my vow. If Gardasil is ever made mandatory in my home state of Massachusetts, which is frighteningly likely knowing how disgustingly liberal my state tends to be, I will fight against the vaccine with all the strength I possess. In fact, I will dedicate time and resources to combatting this abomination wherever it reigns, and all true Americans will, at least in spirit, join me.

In conclusion, I say down with Gardasil! Down with Merck! Down with the FDA! And down with anyone who supports making Gardasil mandatory, as anyone who supports that also supports the destruction of innocence, logic, and freedom everywhere!!!

Members of the FDA have, indeed, recommended that the evil cervical cancer vaccine be approved. Shame on them!

Additionally, Reade Seligmann, one of the Duke lacross players who is falsely accused of rape, appeared in court today, and some jerks yelled threats at him. Most of the threats were too profane for Fox News to say, and therefore too profane for me to put on this blog, but the threats included comments that Seligmann is a rapist, a “snake,” and a “dead man walking.”

Good job, Senator Arlen Specter! Although unfortunately he says that he is “totally opposed” to a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, he does believe that the amendment deserves to be debated in the Senate. Today, ater Specter, a Republican, had a shouting match with Democrat Russ Feingold, a Senate committee approved the amendment, sending it to the Senate for debate. At one point, Specter told Feingold, “I don’t need to be lectured by you.” Later, Specter bade Feingold “good riddance” as the latter stormed out.

Another event in the news that is just as despicable as gay marriage is the development of a vaccine for cervical cancer. The FDA will probably approve this abomination, and debate is raging on whether or not to have all young girls receive this injection!!

I object to the vaccine on two levels:

• First, it violates the rights of children. Parents will be the ones to decide whether or not the children receive the injections. This is completely irrational, as the children, not the parents, will receive the shots, and therefore should be the ones to decide whether or not the shots are given. Vaccines are slightly physically painful, but their true pain is a result of the dread that victims experience, a dread that overshadows the life of any rational person for the entire time the person knows that they will be given a shot in the future. It is said that shots only hurt for a second, but this is a blatant fallacy: shots inflict psychological pain for a lifetime. If advocates of the evil plan to vaccinate 9- and 11-year old girls succeed, the shots will hurt these girls for at least 9 or 11 years (and probably more because the vaccine only lasts for 4 years and therefore will be re-administered)!
• Second, I object to the vaccine because its implementation carries the assumption that all females will become sexually active. Cervical cancer is a sexually transmitted disease, and some people want children to be vaccinated for it! This assumption is extraordinarily offensive to celibate individuals like myself. Obviously, there is at least one girl in the world (myself) who will be celibate forever, and the existence of just one celibate individual is enough to completely invalidate the presumption upon which the cervical canver vaccination plan is based. It is irrelevant how many sexual women the vaccine benefits; the vaccine violates the rights of all celibates and asexuals of the world by invalidating their existence, and therefore is immoral and unjustified. The idea of thinking of beautiful, innocent little girls as people who will become sexual is twisted. I will never willingly receive a cervical cancer vaccine, and if the members of the FDA have any brains at all, they will vote this vaccine down!

In older news, the Senate did a good job by approving the construction of a heavy-duty fence along the Mexican border, but did a bad job by approving a plan for U.S. citizenship for some illegal immigrants. The U.S. needs to decrease its population, and deporting people who can’t speak English and have no loyalty to America is one of the best, easiest ways to accomplish this goal.

Finally, some entertainment commentary: Congratulations to Aras for winning “Survivor” on Sunday – I liked him better than Danielle or Terry. Monday’s finale of “Prison Break” was excellent – one of my favorite parts was Haywire’s escape on the bike. Abruzzi was especially nasty, and I almost felt bad for T-Bag. And, last but not least, I predict that Taylor will win “American Idol.”

Check back for more rants; I am in a ranty mood, as some of my favorite issues, such as immigration and gay marriage, have been in the news a lot lately!