Yay, America!
There’s hope for America!
Virginia, New Jersey elect Republican governors
Edit: And… Maine rejects same-sex marriage law
November 4, 2009
November 2, 2009
Someone hates Halloween…
Sam Allis’s column in the Boston Globe yesterday was one of the most mean-spirited, insulting things I’ve read in a long time. Basically, he claims that candy is bad and that parents should throw away their children’s candy the day after Halloween. In addition to arguing for one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard, Allis makes several false statements and insults and demeans kids.
First, he writes,
“Today, parents confront piles of unspeakables like melted candy corn, smudged Snickers, and warped Almond Joys.”
Why exactly is the candy corn melted, the Snickers smudged, and the Almond Joys warped? Allis seems to be implying that children cannot keep their candy in good condition but necessarily ruin it. This isn’t true. When I was 5, I was perfectly capable of keeping my candy in a bag or basket and not ruining it.
Then he writes,
“You can’t put Halloween detritus in a compost heap. You can’t burn it. What you can do is put it out with the garbage, but only if you’ve signed a Halloween pre-nup with your children before the big day. If not, we’re talking DEFCON I on the home front.”
First of all, how exactly is candy “detritus”? Detritus is trash. Candy is a perfectly edible food. Food does not equal trash. Secondly, Allis seems surprised/scornful of the fact that kids would be angry if their parents threw out their candy. Why? The candy belongs to the kids, and obviously a person has no right to throw out another person’s property. Anyone has a right to be mad if another person takes their property and throws it out.
This is Allis’s great solution:
“I say the mere presence of candy around the house for any length of time invites antisocial behavior like stealing and cheating, among other romper room no-nos. So the candy must go, pronto.
The Observer, as always, has a superior plan. It allows the little tykes to eat as much candy as they want on Halloween night, and what’s left gets thrown out the next day. Period.”
Again, it is degrading to assume that kids will cheat and steal simply because there is candy around the house. Give them more credit.
When I was a kid, I would eat a few pieces of candy on Halloween, and then I would keep the rest and eat one piece per day until it was gone. This is a much better idea than eating a ton of candy at once and then throwing the rest out. The candy is going to bring you a lot more pleasure if you spread it out over time and really enjoy each piece than if you keep stuffing piece of piece down your throat after you’re already full.
He also makes this false statement:
“We continue to provide a premium assortment of sweets with the express purpose of ruining their tiny teeth.”
Umm, I didn’t know that the purpose of candy was to ruin people’s teeth. Silly me, I thought the purpose of candy was that it tastes good. Additionally, I’m not even convinced that ruining people’s teeth is an effect of eating candy, let alone the purpose. If you brush your teeth twice a day and eat in moderation, I think candy is fine.
Yes, I understand that this column was supposed to be light-hearted and funny, but all it succeeded in doing was being insulting. Halloween is supposed to be fun. Having a bag of Halloween candy to gradually eat over the course of several weeks or months is fun because candy tastes good and gives you something to look forward to. Throwing out candy the day after Halloween is mean-spirited and takes pleasure away from children for no reason. Why not let your children make their own decisions about food, or let them eat one piece per day? Allis’s idea is wasteful, makes life less enjoyable than it could be, and defeats the purpose of Halloween.